Pretty Weird ♀

This is what happens when you smoked through your pharmaco quiz

2012-02-10T10:59:00.001+08:00

I think I'm living in an oven

2012-02-08T15:46:00.002+08:00

Finals are starting from next thursday onwards -___-

*After exams>3 weeks holidays> 3 weeks of attachment @ NUH>1 more week of holiday> YEAR 2!*
So egg-cited for my holidays ^^

P/s: it feels kinda odd & yet kinda good that I don't have any serious feeling for any particular person. guess I'll remain single for the 3 years in school.

P/p/s: KFC chicken is my new love.

ADAM LEVINE IS SEXY FROM HEAD TO TOE

2012-02-04T09:35:00.002+08:00

<3 <3 <3

Missing them so effing much

2012-02-01T06:43:00.001+08:00

God, please be with them always

<3

Tired. Mentally & physically.

2012-01-31T14:48:00.001+08:00

Maybe I'm PMS-ing.
Or maybe I'm too sensitive.
Or I'm just plain lethargic.
Four hours of sleep is not enough at all.
& I can't believe I didn't pay attention during CMbio lecture- this isn't me.
Wtf is wrong with me?!

30 facts about me

2012-01-26T17:34:00.001+08:00

1) I'm a very shy person.
2) I'm attracted to anything & everything that's pink in color.
3) I'm allergic to prawns & peanut butter. They'll give me terrible rashes.
4) I have a phobia of bicycles after I fell off my bike down a slope on 2010's new year's day.
5) I love nail art. Call me superficial but whatever- they make me happy.
6) I check out girls more than the average number of times a guy'd check girls out.
7) No, I'm not a lesbian.
8) I used to be a swimmer- I trained till I got my GOLD NSSA cert.
9) Now, I'm just swimming for leisure.
10) My speciality, however is breast-stroke ^^
11) I've sweet tooth.
12) I tend to keep my feelings to myself.
13) I've not been in a real r/s with a guy before.
14) I love beef.
15) I believe in God.
16) I don't smoke but I drink.
17) One of my favorite things to do online is to listen to music & tumblr!!
18) I love clubbing music. But not clubbing itself.
19) I hate crowded places.
20) Biology was my best & favorite subject in high school.
21) Physics on the other hand was my worst- the only 2 occasions I passed physics was my sec 3 CT & my O levels- C6. All the time I was getting F9s for it.
22) I have a love-hate relationship with chemistry.
23) I love reading.
24) I love Harry Potter- it's my childhood.
25) I love watching chick flicks & ANTM :]
26) I adore roses. Especially those red like blood ones.
27) Absurd it may sound but I make wishes on 11:11.
28) I love sleeping (hahahaha)
29) I believe in miracles.
30) I used to have suicidal thoughts before when I was as young as 12- that for another blog entry.

Wish me luck for school!
Might be needing lots & lots of it!

Random.

2012-01-18T20:09:00.001+08:00

Weather's been so hot these days.
Contemplating whether I should cut my hair. ʅ（´◔౪◔）ʃ
I'd say school has been pretty lenient to me for these couple of days- the only unfortunate thing was how I smoked through my pharmacology test. Shame on me for not studying though.
Other than that, well... Don't really wanna think about exams. But I know I have to. Why am I so lazy to study haizz.
On lighter note, I stopped stalking him on fb. I still do check his profile out in the pics he has been tagged in tho. I know I have to stop this insanity. Stop liking someone so fondly when he can't even stand my presence.
It has been 4 going on 5 years, I must stop.

~The next guy'll be better, I promise myself.~

God bless! :]

hello

2012-01-15T14:28:00.001+08:00

Time is short

2012-01-12T21:43:00.001+08:00

The atmosphere was eerie.
The moment I stepped out of my dad's car, I felt it. I felt as if, as if there was an aura of spookiness. An aura of fear.
There were people chanting prayers, burning incense, joss-sticks.
It was just different, different from the atmosphere in a wedding banquet.
No high heels, no pretty tiny dresses, no handsome lads in tuxedos, no.. sense of joyfulness.

It was awkward meeting your other relatives, the relatives whom you have never met at all & suddenly, you are being introduced....at a wake.
How inappropriate.

RIP my aunt.

Treasure the ones you love as time is running out.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLISON HARVARD

2012-01-08T13:03:00.001+08:00

You're my inspiration.
I love you.
Stay weird, I like weird people.

WFL

2012-01-07T16:27:00.003+08:00

" ‎Its like you're screaming

and no one can hear.

You almost feel ashamed that someone could be that important

and that without them you feel like nothing

No one will ever understand how much it hurts.

You feel hopeless, like nothing can save you

And when its over and its gone,

you almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back,

so that you could have the good. "

do what you want

2012-01-07T16:04:00.002+08:00

i'll be lying if i said that picture didn't make me angry; it actually made me lost my concentration on my lit review.

you two look happy together- your arms over her shoulders.

i know that no matter how much i want us to be together again, it will never ever happen.

we were never meant to be together anw.

if we were meant to be, we wouldn't have landed in this plight.

Haiz

2012-01-02T21:31:00.001+08:00

There's some significance when he messaged 'will I see you later?'
There isn't any tint of desperateness or any rush wanting for me to reply his text. Actually he's quite a good catch.
Tall. Humorous. Sensitive. Sensible. Caring to his friends. Perfect GPA. Loves his parents especially his mother so so much. Respect his parents. Christian. Thinker- thinks a lot about situations & their consequences. Respects girls very much.

But my heart doesn't seem stirred by his presence/words/ kind actions.

I'm damn complicated lah. Zzz.

This spoke to me

2011-12-31T10:45:00.001+08:00

I love you too Jesus <3

I hate school. I hate poly life.

2011-12-30T22:09:00.001+08:00

Blogging this while having the heaviest of heart. * massive sigh *
Poly life- a place meant to attain higher education not to make any friends. My secondary school teachers were right- no one cares about you when you're at poly. NO ONE DOES.
Everyone's so caught up with their own fucking lifes. & everyone's just so goddamn selfish. I can't take it anymore. I hate poly life.

1 more sem & 2 more years then I shall be free! I can do it. I know i can.
* wipes away tears *

I'm stronger than this. I can. I can. I can. * purses lips *

I shall be my own pillar of strength & support & entertain in school. I can. I can do this!

Hmm

2011-12-29T23:46:00.001+08:00

The thought of going back to school next Tuesday is scaring me.
The thought that 2011 is coming to an end kinda.. creeps me out more.

I still can't believe that I did my Os.
I still can't believe that I did odd jobs with my secondary school friends to kill time whilst waiting for our results.
I still can't believe I'm a student of Ngee Ann poly.
I still can't believe that I'm a nursing student who has already gone through 7 weeks of clinical attachment.
I still can't believe that I'm... 17 already.

Wow. How time... Flies.

"you don't know how lovely you are"

2011-12-27T15:09:00.002+08:00

Been listening to Coldplay's songs these few days.

Probably cos of the cold,dreamy weather hahaha.

really must stop procrastinating- i've 2 individual reports still left undone.

hate hate hate assignments.

hate hate hate hate my "good" procrastinating skills more.

oh my gosh.

2011-12-23T23:17:00.003+08:00

"For some reason I can't explain, I know Saint Peter won't call my name."

You are a nice guy;

2011-12-23T22:20:00.003+08:00

But that doesn't mean that I like you.

So stop asking why I don't answer your calls or reply your messages.
I don't owe you a living.
Live without me.
You'll be fine.

Reminiscing the past; hoping it'd last

2011-12-22T02:22:00.002+08:00

-2007-
Maybe I liked him cos he's damn tall. Or that he likes the same type of music as me. Or that he uses perfect grammar & proper spelling.
Maybe it was his smile, his dimples, his flawless articulation of words.
Or the fact that he enjoys reading too.
Or maybe- he was just the first guy who asked me for my number, the first guy who actually showed genuine interest in me, the first guy who touched my fingertips, the first guy who admitted that girls with long hair are more attractive.

Or maybe- it's just fatal attraction.

I won't forget the times when I got up early every single day just to chat with him on msn.

I don't want another scenario of 'right guy wrong timing' shit again. Abhor it.
I don't wanna be the girl whom is just a 'I like her *2 months later* she's not my type' kinda thingy. You make me feel like an unusable fucking plastic bag. Feelings isn't supposedly to be easily discarded.

Yes. Immaturity was also one of the reasons why it didn't work out.
I'm sorry that I left my cellphone in the other room & that I didn't reply your text. That pissed you off right?
I'm sorry that I flared up at you over minor issues. Forgive me for being me.
Wished that I could take back everything that I had said. It was when I realized God didn't want us to be together & that your feelings for me was dry.

"we learn from mistakes."
"If he doesn't love you, you ought to let him go."
"you see- light & darkness don't mix."
"All is not lost, God has a man for you."
"get over it."

These are just some of people's "advices" for me.

-1 year later-
My heart never fails to skip a beat when I see you online on msn.
We chatted but only about mutual stuff- music, how boring school life was, & of cos- do we have any new crushes.
Told you I liked my senior. ( it was purely only eye candy with no strings attached)
You told me you liked a girl from one of your classes.

-2009-
Drifted apart. But I still think of you.

-2010-
O level period. Damn stressed.
You taught me chem & phy through the phone. I was the happiest then. Hearing your voice was one of best things that happened to me.

-2011-
Collected Os results.
You asked me how did I fare.
I signed out without replying. Knew that you got into your desired college thru your fb wall.
Asked you through msn about which poly choice I should put- engineering or nursing. You told me to choose which one I like better.

Got nursing. You told me to 'make your mother proud & study hard.'

-a few months later-
Deleted you from msn.
Blocked your fb posts from my newsfeed.

What the shit happened to us?
I know things happen for a reason but why this?

Maybe God wants to tell me that it's better to have a partner who loves Him too. Or that He trying to tell me that He already has someone better for me?

I can't question Him I only can trust Him.

O Lord, let not my will but Your will be done.

--康复--

I hope the guy that You've chosen for me is worth waiting for.

I hope that he's kind, sensible, sensitive to others' feelings, mature in thinking, caring, sentimental, considerate, optimistic thoughtful....man this can go on.

Basically everything what my ex ex flame is & yet at the same time couldn't be.
He got to be better than my first love. Period.

I declare this topic of my first love CLOSED.

Indeed, things happen for a reason.
No matter what situations you're in, God always has the full control.

I can do this. :)
Believe in me.

2011-12-11T02:24:00.001+08:00

Maroon 5 songs never fail to bring back memories of karaoke sessions, my first love & the stalker (LOL).

P/S: Adam Levine is a sex god.

2011-12-10T12:33:00.001+08:00

You're the first person I think of each morning when I rise;
You're the last person I think of each night when I close my eyes.

L.O.V.E

2011-12-08T16:45:00.001+08:00

~ It's not about how often we get to see each other, it's how often we think about each other instead. ~

;D

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

2011-12-05T22:08:00.002+08:00

I shall not cut
I shall not starve
I shall not binge
I shall not puke
I shall not give up
I shall not think of death.

:DD

2011-12-04T21:33:00.001+08:00

☐ I love Edward.
☐ I love Jacob.
☑ I love holidays

☐ Team Edward.
☐ Team Jacob.
☑ I don't care, all I want is holiday!

I would rather be alone than be with the wrong person.

2011-12-02T23:50:00.001+08:00

To love is a blessing.
To be loved is too, a blessing.

LOL

2011-11-30T10:34:00.001+08:00

＂小姐你几时生日？以后请你。＂

Made my morning. ;)

Self pity

2011-11-30T07:25:00.001+08:00

This is just one of those unlucky days when I feel terribly ugly. So hideous that I should wear a paper bag over my head. too ugly to even look at people.

Dear God, why can't I beautiful too?

Heh

2011-11-29T15:25:00.001+08:00

Rhetorical questions aren't supposed to be answered.

-______________-

Call me insane

2011-11-29T00:38:00.001+08:00

But if I were asked to make a choice, I'd rather die single than be with a guy I don't love.

Headstrong.

2011-11-29T00:11:00.001+08:00

I'm waiting for a guy who fits into the same description as the vision god gave me

Have we met before?

2011-11-28T06:11:00.001+08:00

You should stop appearing in my dreams & starting coming into my life. Say hi or something. Heh.

It's fine I'm crazy.
I don't even know your name nor age blah blah blah & yet I still think of getting your surname.

Oh no.
I'm really insane!!!!!!
:O

Different but still the same

2011-11-27T13:48:00.001+08:00

You were right. There's nothing special about him. What's so appealing when a guy gossips/back stabs worse than a girl?

Verdict: zero feelings.

Back to serious flirting with my lecture notes. Life is soooooooo goooddddd.

2011-11-26T22:28:00.001+08:00

The greatest love that anyone could ever know, that overcame the grave & cross to find my soul.
And till I see You face to face & grace amazing takes me home, I'll trust in You.

Not me.

2011-11-26T11:59:00.001+08:00

Remember: it was you who gave up on me. Not the other way round. I'm not the person who gives up on others that easily.

You shot me down; but I won't fall

2011-11-24T19:59:00.002+08:00

No. I won't hurt you back just like how you did it to me. It only proves that I'm lower that you. & I'm definitely not.

I'd never exclude people cos I know how it feels like to be excluded.
Thank god that I can get to experience this first hand. Although it hurts & terribly sucks, I know it's for my benefit.

It's okay. I don't wanna be associate with people like you. Your mindsets are even shallower than the kids' pool.

Think about it-

2011-11-22T13:59:00.001+08:00

Would you abort your child if he/she turns out to have down syndrome?

Moodswings;

2011-11-20T15:59:00.001+08:00

Make me unsure of who I really am.
Make others to steer away from me.

I wish i could control my emotions instead of being controlled by my emotions.

I wish I could pluck up my courage & just believe in myself.

Sick & tired of drowning in my tears.
& wallowing in self-pity it's just so passé.

I know I'm stronger than this.
I know I can.

Believe in me, please?

This.

2011-11-19T23:38:00.001+08:00

Love shouldn't be conditional, and it makes no sense changing who you are for anyone else.

The Strongest Message is Not Verbal

2011-11-19T14:39:00.001+08:00

Title says it all

they shall fall in love with your flaws

2011-11-19T14:01:00.001+08:00

Waiting

Nostalgic

2011-11-18T07:34:00.001+08:00

4 years.
4 long years.
The feelings felt as if everything took place just only yesterday. I still can remember how we first met.
Right now, every freaking song played by maroon5, simple plan or even Daughtry- reminds me of you.
All I hope now is that you're coping well with your studies for your upcoming As- don't spend too much time playing Dota.

Will I get over this phase?
I'm sure I'd but now isn't the ripe time.
Will I ever like another guy as much as how much I like you?
I'm still skeptical about relationships & I do not apologize for being cynical about them.

Obviously, I miss the way you used to look at me and the way how you'd reach down and touch my fingertips ever so lightly and gently.

I won't forget about all these sweet memories- I'd take all these to my grave- for they're worth remembering.

However, i can't let these memories haunt me nor get the better of me.

I've got to move on.

Hmm

2011-11-16T18:17:00.001+08:00

Merope Gaunt has got to be the most pathetic character in the Harry potter series. If she had lily evan's courage & determination, there wouldn't be a dark lord.

2011-11-15T20:22:00.001+08:00

"Cos I don't wanna waste my adolescence years with booze, fags, lousy mates & cheap pornography. Those, aren't in the least fun."

2011-11-15T17:41:00.001+08:00

"Merope chose death in spite of a son who needed her, but do not judge her too harshly, Harry. She was greatly weakened by long suffering and she never had your mother's courage"
—Albus Dumbledore to Harry Potter

:D

2011-11-15T14:06:00.001+08:00

"At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in," said Hermione sharply. "They got in on pure talent." The smug look on Malfoy's face flickered.

T.i.m.e takes its toll

2011-11-14T23:28:00.001+08:00

How long will the revival come?
How long will I start to have more confidence in myself?
How long will I start to believe in myself?
How long more.... before I lose it all?

:(

2011-11-14T07:41:00.001+08:00

All the butterflies in the whole wide world are in my stomach now ><"

May God help us all.

2011-11-13T19:41:00.001+08:00

Otherwise we're only wander-less souls without any love nor security.

•♥•♥•♥•

2011-11-13T15:59:00.001+08:00

I searched so much for true love only to find out that that true love already lives in my heart ✝

You weird? Good. Stay weird

2011-11-13T12:30:00.001+08:00

Because being called weird is being limited edition. who wants to be like the rest?

Be d i f f e r e n t .